Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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