saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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