you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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