do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
