he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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