It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Shame - the story of my life.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
