Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
