It's like God shit irony all over that family
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
