I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
