K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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