I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Even my vagina gasped.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
