Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize