Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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