I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She said her name was "party"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
