If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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