I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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