Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize