Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
never play flip cup with pint glasses
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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