Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
