Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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