I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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