"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
