I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
