Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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