So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize