that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
