He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
tequila makes me forget i have legs
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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