idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
