ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
