Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
