ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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