It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
