he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She announced her abortion via fbk
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
