Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
