If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
