im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Two words: nipple clamps
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