Banned from zoo.
Again?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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