The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
