too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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