I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
