your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
wow bdsm is so cute
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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