I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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