There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
