i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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