you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
