Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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