I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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