My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
