i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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