My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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