She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize