you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
