someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
