don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
