I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Come on in and take your pants off
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