You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
