did you get engaged???
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
