Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I need to sanitize my soul.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
