ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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