No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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