pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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