Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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