he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
