I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
