So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
