Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
