I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
