I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
