i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
